Today I've been experimenting with backgrounds and textures. A little inconclusively though, I still can't seem to find a definite pattern in how the changes in the parameters affect the images, although some general tendencies have become a little clearer in the meantime.
The summer has been a good one, relaxing in some ways, invigorating in others. The days are visibly shortening and for the first time this morning there was a slight chill in the air, the colouring of the leaves has quietly begun even though the days are still warm. As always, the world is changing, ever taking on new forms and discarding old ones, nothing ever remains the same.
My summer has been a mixed up, confronting but ultimately comforting one. I've managed to shed some of the ballast I've been carrying with me for such a long time, learned to relax more effectively and slow down a life I'd been wanting to drive at too frantic a pace in the past.
A lot of lessons have been learned, old habits and cravings are being discarded one by one and new life skills are being taken on board on an almost daily basis. Despite the pressures I'm still facing, I'm finding it easier to address these on a more rational, less emotional way which doesn't leave me in all kinds of knots for days on end.
I see my daughters quite often, on an almost daily basis at the moment. It's easier for them now, the two youngest are still on school holidays, live close by with their mother and have all the time in the world. The eldest comes along every afternoon, we still have a lot of issues to sort out with each other but discussions are progressing in an orderly, contained and constructive fashion. We've made a tentative agreement that she come back to live here at the beginning of next month and we're now working on the conditions on which this can be done. Time will tell if we're both being realistic and if the patience and/or cooperative spirit wil last.
Possibly one of the greatest benefits to come out of all the upheavals in the last eighteen months is the realisation that more is to be gained by "going with the flow" to an extent, not worrying too much about consequences or possibilities and discarding regrets and "what if's" which only distract from the potential of the present moment. It's a difficult concept to grasp after so many years of chasing the delusions of "progress" and "utility" which ultimately left me empty-handed.
"If the radiance of a thousand suns were to burst at once into the sky, that would be like the splendor of the mighty one." (Robert Oppenheimer quoting the Bhagavad-Gita, June 1945)
"We knew the world would not be the same. A few people laughed, a few people cried. Most people were silent. I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad-Gita; Vishnu is trying to persuade the Prince that he should do his duty, and to impress him, takes on his multi-armed form and says, 'Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.' I suppose we all thought that, one way or another." (Robert Oppenheimer in a BBC interview, 1965)
Here's a couple of photos I made during the performance, many more made in the course of the weekend will follow soon when I've finished the final selection. In the meantime, you can take a look at the photos I made last year.