It started last Tuesday and for whatever reason I ended up feeling so totally overwhelmed by everything needing doing that very little could be done in the end. I've been muddling along for a couple of days, Wednesday at work I'd been falling asleep at the keyboard at moments, Thursday was at a different location where most of my time was spent sorting out why printers weren't working and finding out what the logic was behind the mess my colleague had left for me. Not her fault by the way, she's seriously overworked at the moment and I suspect she's not able to keep things under control effectively herself any more.
The tiredness is unfortunately part and parcel of the depression cycles I go through occasionally, even though I sleep seven or eight hours a night that is not enough at times, I wake up feeling severely depleted and out of sorts, and unable to shake off the lethargy. I've called in to work to inform them I wouldn't be coming in today, deciding instead to be a little self-indulgent and go do something to shift my thoughts for a while.
This is, once again, one of the limits I wrote about on Monday (perhaps a little prophetically) and one I need to accept for what it is. In the past I would be throwing myself full-force into the fray to force myself to get things done, achieving little more than unnecessary frustration and wearing myself down even more.
Today will be filled with a little gardening (some weeding and reorganising), a long walk later this morning, catching up on some correspondence and doing some reading. I guess today is a good day for doing all this, tomorrow is going to be a busy day and there are less distractions since everybody else is either at work or at school.
I've started a journal for myself, to keep track of moments, moods, happenings, thoughts and reflections in the course of the day. In this way I can see if there are particular circumstances or triggers for certain feelings and states of mind which tend to see-saw at best and resemble roller-coasters at other moments. I'm thoroughly fed up with not being able to maintain a reasonably consistent pattern of moods and even though there mightn't be anything I can do about it I would still like to get some grip on what's happening. At least by writing things down I'll be able to identify and name what's happening, and at least find a bit of peace and quiet in that way.
Have a good day, keep well...