It goes without saying that it's been worthwhile, it's been dead tiring and it's not over yet. Divorces and life changes have a habit of doing that with you, they go on and on and on and drive me to distraction. Never mind though, the only thing that really matters is the knowledge that 2009 will see an improvement in life that I'd only dreamt of and never been able to experience. Doors have closed behind me, new ones are opening all around me and the choices available are bewildering to say the least.
I've been badly distracted recently, to say the least. A lot of what I would like to do has been put on hold while I'm preoccupied with other running issues. For better or for worse, important people in my life have drifted away in the same way I've also done. Perhaps it's a natural thing, change being the major common denominator in any sense of human activity but the changes hurt and leave me behind with a sense of loss and disappointment although the moments of connection and happiness will be cherished forever.
This New Year will be the last one celebrated in the old fashion and whilst I'm glad it will be over soon, I'm just a little sad that all the hopes and promises of years past are dissolving into irrelevance in such an offhand way. I can't talk to my soon-to-be-ex-partner about this, she figures it's a problem of my own doing and I need to deal with in my own way. So I do, I've given up trying not to tread on sensibilities and proscribed modes of conduct, the only way out for me in a life on my own terms.
I'd like to wish you all a Happy New Year, one filled with promise and happiness despite the occasional downturns and moments of despair. Life will get better, it always does once your perspectives move in the right directions and you get the right people around you as well.