180 days
Time has slipped by and in some way's I'd hardly even noticed since my first hundred days of being clean were over. I've now hit one hundred and eighty days which I'm going to officially make my half year and I'm going to have a modest celebration with the girls this afternoon after my training.
The first hundred days were difficult in some ways. Although I knew perfectly well what was at stake and also knowing that I had the strength to continue, I was still having trouble addressing the cravings when they appeared. Since then they've died down a little, and if at all present they're there in an almost blurred, background kind of way that I can ignore easily.
Other developments have been preoccupying me more recently though. My physical health is generally good, I've taken to doing more sport than I'd already been doing despite the fact that my back is starting to be a bit difficult again. My mental health is improving in many ways in that I'm learning more and more about myself, the ways I act and react in general and specific ways, learning to deal with issues from the past and developing the techniques to meditate effectively so as to release my mind from the constant worry and chatter of daily life.
My emotional health still needs a lot of work though and this is going to be one of my main working areas for the next half year at least. A divorce and the resulting bitterness on both sides needs alleviating in whatever ways possible and although I'm managing to keep a tight reign on the actions I'd like to take, managing to avoid any serious harshness on my side, my efforts are taking their toll on my mental and emotional peace of mind. I'll be taking a little time out shortly, to get my mind off the pressing daily issues and let go for a few days so I can refind the balance I need.
With any number of ups and downs on the way, I've managing to improve my relationship with my daughters during the last few months. I'm able to discuss matters with them in an intelligent, understanding way and I suspect they greatly appreciate that they're also being included in the discussions about what´s going to be happening here in the near future. I've had a lot of support from them since my initial detox and the trust and encouragement have improved even more since then. Of course there are the odd altercations and annoyances that flare up but we're now at the stage that we can calmly, reasonably and intelligently discuss what´s happened and what we´re going to be doing.
In other areas of my life I'm still plodding along, holding my ground but to be perfectly honest many issues which I'd worried myself with in the past are on hold at the moment. Work is the least of my worries, the situation there is on hold indefinitely whilst my recovery is in progress. I've had a lot of support by councillers, therapists and my own doctor who have done all they can to facilitate my reintegration into the workforce at my own rate and on the basis of my own needs and conditions.
All in all, the outlook is positive. I've put huge upheavals behind me this last half year, I expect more to come but I'm ready for them now I'm feeling more fit and able than I have been for a very long time. Moving on, the best is yet to come...
Keep well...
---------------
The first hundred days were difficult in some ways. Although I knew perfectly well what was at stake and also knowing that I had the strength to continue, I was still having trouble addressing the cravings when they appeared. Since then they've died down a little, and if at all present they're there in an almost blurred, background kind of way that I can ignore easily.
Other developments have been preoccupying me more recently though. My physical health is generally good, I've taken to doing more sport than I'd already been doing despite the fact that my back is starting to be a bit difficult again. My mental health is improving in many ways in that I'm learning more and more about myself, the ways I act and react in general and specific ways, learning to deal with issues from the past and developing the techniques to meditate effectively so as to release my mind from the constant worry and chatter of daily life.
My emotional health still needs a lot of work though and this is going to be one of my main working areas for the next half year at least. A divorce and the resulting bitterness on both sides needs alleviating in whatever ways possible and although I'm managing to keep a tight reign on the actions I'd like to take, managing to avoid any serious harshness on my side, my efforts are taking their toll on my mental and emotional peace of mind. I'll be taking a little time out shortly, to get my mind off the pressing daily issues and let go for a few days so I can refind the balance I need.
With any number of ups and downs on the way, I've managing to improve my relationship with my daughters during the last few months. I'm able to discuss matters with them in an intelligent, understanding way and I suspect they greatly appreciate that they're also being included in the discussions about what´s going to be happening here in the near future. I've had a lot of support from them since my initial detox and the trust and encouragement have improved even more since then. Of course there are the odd altercations and annoyances that flare up but we're now at the stage that we can calmly, reasonably and intelligently discuss what´s happened and what we´re going to be doing.
In other areas of my life I'm still plodding along, holding my ground but to be perfectly honest many issues which I'd worried myself with in the past are on hold at the moment. Work is the least of my worries, the situation there is on hold indefinitely whilst my recovery is in progress. I've had a lot of support by councillers, therapists and my own doctor who have done all they can to facilitate my reintegration into the workforce at my own rate and on the basis of my own needs and conditions.
All in all, the outlook is positive. I've put huge upheavals behind me this last half year, I expect more to come but I'm ready for them now I'm feeling more fit and able than I have been for a very long time. Moving on, the best is yet to come...
Keep well...
---------------
Labels: looking forward, reflection
posted by bart | 05:38
9 Comments:
Congratulations on your half year.
Warmest congratulations, Bart, not just on 180 days of sobriety, but on being able to take stock of the present with clarity and awareness, embracing the positives while acknowledging there's still work to be done.
congratulations!
you have accomplished so much.
by having dealt with some challenging situations during your recovery, i think it will serve you well in the future. you now know that you can face the challenges life, no matter how upsetting, without a relapse. you have the toolset within you that you need. you are strong and capable in yourself.
again, congratulations!
well done, bart.
and things will sort themselves out, i'm sure.
Congratulations bart! Nicely done. I bet the first few days were hard, but now you have something to look back on and reward yourself for the huge success. Kudos bart! Excellent!
What I've learned over the years with additions is when you get in front of it, meaning you take control of the addiction, you defeat it - Its similar with emotions, and reacting to situations - the awareness is the control - you already have awareness and know the triggers - all you have to learn is how to get in front of it. If you identify yourself with a comment, then you will be more likely to react to it, but if you are aware of where the comment comes from and don't make it yours, it will slide off you.
Hot bath with epson salt and as my friend says, big stretch first thing in the morning to wake your body up and before and after workouts will help with the soreness.
Positive Energy
Right on Bart!
very good, bart...I'm so happy for you...you reach so much...go on with lots of positive energy and will
thank you ange, i'm glad you were here today :-))
zilla, i appreciate your positive and forward looking approach, i'm trying to hold on to that myself but find it difficult occasionally...
i think we're both on to a good thing storm, you with your own personal goals and me with my own life upheavals, we're both recovering from a previous life which was found to be limiting in many ways... you're so right, we all have the tools within us, we only need to find them and learn to use them
things will be sorted out eventually polona, mostly though patience, perseverence and self-reflection along the way... i'm looking forward to a better, brighter future :-))
thank you for your kind and helpful remarks bruno, i've been able to take on some of the cues you've given me, i'm still learning to develop the rest of my latent skills but as i just said, its a matter of time, patience and perseverence... thanks for the tips, the stretching works well in the morning usually but since we don't have a bath, a warm shower and a warm track suit do the same for me :-))
thanks fineartist, glad you dropped by ;-)
hallo patricija, you dropped in whilst i was commenting myself... thank you for your positive input, the positive energy is being put to very good use here ;-)
keep well...
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