Altering perceptions
I had a long talk with one of my co-patients yesterday evening, a young lady in her 30's who's been addicted to practically any and every substance possible since she was 14. She has served several prison sentences, had been through numerous treatments, into and out of abusive, self-destructive relationships, slept in cars and unused buildings, taken refuge in shelters and crisis centres and was a total wreck when she was brought in here to our unit about two weeks ago.
She blossomed and is growing again, in the same way all the patients who arrive here do after they have been here for a few days. The young people who come to stay (or are brought by family members), who's bodies display an emptiness and emotional despair come back to life, their skins regain colour, the light in their eyes is rekindled, they start to talk again and almost visibly gain weight. The same person a week later is a totally different creature to the one who was admitted and, despite many personal differences, are often good-natured, sensitive individuals who have taken a wrong turn in their lives for any of a million reasons.
I have particular dislike to the term "junkie", a term which more or less implies that a substance abuser is a piece of refuse, an outcast, not worthy of consideration and preferably consigned to the social scrapyard so one needn't pay any more attention to them.
It's perhaps a term perhaps used in ignorance but one that carries an unwarranted social stigma. We're talking about people here, not objects worthy of our consideration or not, depending on our moods or wishes. No person is worthy of less consideration than yourself, despite our own gut-feelings to the contrary. A person in need is perhaps even worthy of more consideration than yourself for the time he or she needs help, depends on the attention of a society that seriously needs to wake up to what addiction really is, the burden the individual carries and the loss society suffers when an individual with their own unique potential loses their way.
Look around you, you can see people around you in need who are (potentially) substance abusers... perhaps it's the popular, succesful boy next door who is hiding a habit but is sliding away. Perhaps it's an over-extended, stretched mother unable to cope with family circumstances or the shy daughter of a friend who is so unsure or ashamed of herself she'll take anything or everything to feel happy and accepted for while. Business people, pressured and unable to move in the corporate straight-jacket they'd hoped would bring them a successful career. The list is endless... where the individual is in need, the temptation is close.
I ask only one thing of you. Please don't judge, ever. There are people suffering under circumstances and situations you have no idea of and which don't concern you personally, who are in desperate need and all they need in the very first instance is the feeling that somebody understands and cares. That's all. Take it from there but don't judge, just look, listen and learn. I will be worthwhile, I promise.
Keep well...
---------------
She blossomed and is growing again, in the same way all the patients who arrive here do after they have been here for a few days. The young people who come to stay (or are brought by family members), who's bodies display an emptiness and emotional despair come back to life, their skins regain colour, the light in their eyes is rekindled, they start to talk again and almost visibly gain weight. The same person a week later is a totally different creature to the one who was admitted and, despite many personal differences, are often good-natured, sensitive individuals who have taken a wrong turn in their lives for any of a million reasons.
I have particular dislike to the term "junkie", a term which more or less implies that a substance abuser is a piece of refuse, an outcast, not worthy of consideration and preferably consigned to the social scrapyard so one needn't pay any more attention to them.
It's perhaps a term perhaps used in ignorance but one that carries an unwarranted social stigma. We're talking about people here, not objects worthy of our consideration or not, depending on our moods or wishes. No person is worthy of less consideration than yourself, despite our own gut-feelings to the contrary. A person in need is perhaps even worthy of more consideration than yourself for the time he or she needs help, depends on the attention of a society that seriously needs to wake up to what addiction really is, the burden the individual carries and the loss society suffers when an individual with their own unique potential loses their way.
Look around you, you can see people around you in need who are (potentially) substance abusers... perhaps it's the popular, succesful boy next door who is hiding a habit but is sliding away. Perhaps it's an over-extended, stretched mother unable to cope with family circumstances or the shy daughter of a friend who is so unsure or ashamed of herself she'll take anything or everything to feel happy and accepted for while. Business people, pressured and unable to move in the corporate straight-jacket they'd hoped would bring them a successful career. The list is endless... where the individual is in need, the temptation is close.
I ask only one thing of you. Please don't judge, ever. There are people suffering under circumstances and situations you have no idea of and which don't concern you personally, who are in desperate need and all they need in the very first instance is the feeling that somebody understands and cares. That's all. Take it from there but don't judge, just look, listen and learn. I will be worthwhile, I promise.
Keep well...
---------------
posted by bart | 06:19
3 Comments:
This post hit me, hard.
I've been guilty of using the word junkie, a lot. It's not that I lack compassion for the people who have the disease, but more how I view the substance that has over taken their lives.
I've known beautiful intelligent souls, souls who couldn't escape the craving.
I've watched people who I love become crystal addicts and I've made myself sick wishing I could fix them, and then later wished that they wanted to fix themselves, because, no matter how much I wanted someone to be well, they never would be unless they wanted it too.
People who were so lost in the habit that they couldn't think of life without it.
I suppose when I think about the connotation that the word junkie brings to my mind, I think in terms of the drugs specifically, the drugs that they craved so badly, the drugs, they are junk, and those drugs, they trashed some people's lives.
I understand where you are coming from though, and I hear you. You've made me stop and think, reexamine my use of the word, and that's a something that I hadn't taken the time to do until now.
I'll not forget your words here, I'll take them in and remember them the next time I think about using the word. I'll remember that we all have demons, and I'll remember to love and listen, I'll try never to judge, and I'll try to lend help when I can. But if I slip up and use the word in the future please forgive me, I mean no hatred towards the person, only the drugs that have damaged him/her.
Hugs and love to you,
Lori
Your last paragraph says it all. We can never know what another is feeling or suffering and without knowing we cannot possibly judge, condemn or draw conclusions. It is pertinent, always, to seek first to understand.
Yes, we do judge at times. Them or their families..I remember walking on the street and seeing a group of five or six college kids, completely wasted, drinking beer on the street, laughing and looking happy. Was it real, any of it, and how did they get there? Why was there no one to point out it was not all peachy. I felt someone needed to be blamed. As I did when the bright, good looking, happy-looking colleague of mine from uni was telling us all about what he sees when he gets high. I was upset he made it look cool and had others look in awe at him.
I grew out of these feelings at least partially, I am still working on it though. I try to no longer find culprits, but reasons and signs. And maybe help a little when I can.
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