The Onion Principle

Day by day and moment by moment the masks I wear are being peeled away like the skins of an onion. And in the same way the onion annoys and prickles the senses, the shedding of the skins I've acquired in the course of my live is becoming a painful and hurtful process.

I'm learning to look inward again, I once again have demanded the introspection of myself, perhaps not such a wise move at this time in my life but I need to move on and deal with some serious demons in my life. All the patients receive a workbook in which a large range of issues are itemised and which we're all expected to work at during our stay here. Some are directly related to addiction issues, how we see our individual problems, balancing the pros and cons of our use and abuse of substances and making up the balance afterward. Other topics are related to how we're going to work on our resocialisation after we leave, how we can address the temptations and cravings we undoubtably will find in the big bad world outside. Also, and perhaps most importantly, there are topics which relate to social skills and the ways in which we can conduct ourselfs in society in a dignified manner, being assertive enough to stand up for the issues we believe in and sticking to them.


Yesterday I started in earnest to get started, setting out the framework of how I was planning to get myself back into a "normal" state of mind and heal as much of the damage to myself and my family as possible.

It's a hurtful process, and it's going to get worse. I see serious issues appearing on the horizon which need examination and I'm not looking forward to doing so. One day I will be able to look at myself and see that the masks I've taken on are just illusions of what I would like to have been, the sad facades which I needed to protect myself from a perceived hostile world. Once I can see the perceptions themselves to be illusory I can start moving forward again.


The masks are going down, the rest follows... keep well...

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