New definitions for well known phenomena, with an extra twist ;-)
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Cashtration (n.):
The act of buying (or building) a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
Ignoranus:
A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Intaxication:
Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize that it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation:
Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Bozone (n.):
The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Foreploy:
Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Giraffiti:
Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Sarchasm:
The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte:
To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis:
Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis:
A degenerate disease.
Karmageddon:
It's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer.
Decafalon (n.):
The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Glibido:
All talk and no action.
Dopeler Effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic Fit (n.):
The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.):
Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor (n.):
The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
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Hoping to have exercised your linguistic skills today... for my part, I've enjoyed this collection immensely ;-)
Keep well...
