Events have been taking place thick and fast during the last couple of weeks. I fear the distractions will continue for some time unfortunately, yet for all the bother and noise in my life I'm feeling more consistently peaceful under the changes, than at any other part of my life to date.

A beautiful summer is quietly subsiding into a warm and somewhat volatile autumn. The colours of change are starting to appear, rain and sunshine alternate with rapid ease, the geese are becoming more and more unsettled as time progresses and the freshness of the morning has an awakening quality I've missed these last few months.

I've been learning to appreciate the small things in life more fully, to reciprocate smiles and give of my own, watch plants grow, to go for walks and leave the rest of the day behind me, to soak up the sun and be glad of the moment as it is.

The dreams have finally returned, now I'm able to sleep more deeply and more effectively with each passing night. One is given to wondering though, about so many shards and shreds of the past mixed up with confused moments of day to day reality. I've taken to writing down the events of my dreamtime wanderings, to discover the threads and running jokes being played out in my subconscious mind. Very enlightening, sometimes worrying and all too often annoyingly incomprehensible.

One action I've taken during the last few months, which seems to be bearing fruit, is that I now refuse to take on the
"troubles of the world". One of the major problems in my life has been the processing of the immense, incessant bombardment of information, from the moment I come downstairs in the morning to the time I go to bed at night. My bedroom has become the place in the meantime where the rest of the world has disappeared, where nothing else is important any more. In daily life I feel little, if any, need to busy myself with newspapers, news reports or non-focussed gathering of information in whatever form, shape or size. It doesn't help me one bit to overload myself with the perils and plights of existance around the globe, as devastating and heartbreaking though they might be. Suffering exists and will always exist, but to my mind, my time and energy are best used addressing issues on a local and personal, one-to-one or one-to-few level.

I've given up on trying to be all things to all people, after having realised that I'd been my own worst enemy in the past, trying to please everybody all the time, leaving them disappointed and driving myself to despair. Once again the focus is back on basics, attempting to rebuild bridges in my daily life I'd all too eagerly let fall into disrepair in the past. If someone else isn't happy with my efforts or performance, we can talk about it but in the end it isn't my problem if I'm convinced I'm doing the right things in the right way.

And so it goes. The place is here and the moment is now. There's a new day to be lived and although every breath breathed is one less in my life there's a peaceful optimism about what's to come. I sometimes wish I'd discovered this thirty years ago...
Have a great day, keep well...
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Labels: fractal art